PGA Tour Golf 1991 By: Electronic Arts

Overview:

     Menus! This game has glorious menus! I would love it if only for that fact. No need to twist your fingers into a knot trying to perform some task on the controller that only a seven-handed spider monkey could accomplish. Just press the “C” Button and that beautiful menu appears. Like looking at a sunset on a spring evening.
     And if that weren’t enough, it has dialog boxes that prompt you for any needed information. No need to memorize anything. It brings tears to my eyes.
     The game is definitely cheaper and easier to play than the real thing. No green fees, no clubs, and no snotty-nosed caddy that you have to tip even though he did nothing for you. No golf cart that you have to rent because the caddy has a “bad back”. No lawsuit from the caddy’s lawyer daddy because you asked the twerp to hand you the putter and he sprained his back again. No, just you, the wind and the choice of some great courses.
     One major problem with these games is that there is no correlation between the overhead view and the swing view. The game automatically points you to the center of the fairway, which is fine, except when the wind is blowing. Then you need to aim your swing left or right, but you can’t gauge the correct amount. You can’t aim on the overhead and you can’t see the fairway on the swing view. Am I asking for too much? Don’t you agree with me? I mean, I didn’t get sugar in my coffee this morning, there were no donuts left when I got to the office and the boss is screaming at me for something I didn’t do and all I want is to be able to aim a stupid white dot on a stupid computer screen. Am I asking for too much? I feel like going Postal!
     And if that isn’t enough, they apparently didn’t have bitmap texturing back when dinosaurs ruled the earth, NASA engineers used slide-rules and this game was designed, so that the putting greens look as if somebody threw a trashbag load of green triangles all over the place.

Directions:

     The game starts at the Pro-Shop from which you can use the “C” Button to browse the menu. That is about all you need to know. Explore the menu and any option available will be there.
     If you have never played computer golf games before, you should try the Driving Range and Putting Green. Sure, you will think it goofy to practice playing computer golf, but it will eliminate the aggravation of hitting the ball badly. If you want to enjoy the game, you have to be prepared.
     Bees! Bees! Bees! That’s it folks, it’s all in the Bees. Press the “B” Button to start your back swing, press the “B” Button to stop the back swing and begin the forward swing and press the “B” Button to strike the ball at the precise moment. Did I confuse you? Or were you able to follow those complex directions? Pop Quiz: which button do you press to play golf?
     Use the D-Control UP and DOWN to choose clubs.
     On the overhead view you can move the cursor using the D-Control to determine the distance to different points on the fairway.
Special “A” Button On The Course:

     displays the Overhead View when on the tee

     displays the Ball Lie when on the fairway or in the sand

     displays the putting green when on the green or fringe
     Oh, and remember to aim using your D-Control! Aim for that snotty-nosed punk with the million-dollar lawsuit.